My Slinky Vs Your Red Shell
by vednilla
Summary: Spencer Hotchner and Aaron Hotchner on their day off...insanity ensues...Hotchner being brutally attacked with a slinky, exposed abdomens, and Severe damage to a teddy bear   p.s Spencer never wins...  rated-t cause...its my first fic and im paraniod


Hey There! This will be my first story so I'm excited to see the fruits of my labor! (...yes...i'm an old woman stuck in a young boys body )I REALLY like this paring, but if either of the actors by some colapse of the universe came to read this, I'd deny this with every ounce of power in my body!IM A SORRY EXCUSE OF A FAN!

I DO NOT OWN Criminal Minds- ( i can dream ) If I did there would be a lot of Garcia fight sequences.

"Aaron! NOT FAIR!" Supervisory Agent Dr. Spencer Reid abruptly stood from his sitting position on the floor and threw his Wii controller at his Unit Chief and Husband Aaron Hotchner. The controller bounced of Hoch's forehead, falling into his lap, "Spencer come on," the unit chief chuckled and tried to keep his husband from stomping out of the living room by hugging his legs "it's just a game.". Reid wiggled and squirmed, in a way that reminded Hotch of SpongeBob, which he was sure, was lowering his IQ, but regardless spend countless afternoons watching with Jack. "You ALWAYS win! It's not fair…" Reid, realizing that his current escape strategy wasn't the most effective tried his hand…or rather butt at another strategy, "and you cheat."

He chucked his butt into his husband's face successfully knocking his head and most importantly, hands, away. Before Aaron could register what had just happened Reid was halfway up the stair and booking it to their bedroom. Aaron sat dazed for a second before springing to his feet like a crazed martial artist and bounded up the stairs. "I KNOW you did NOT just do WHAT you did!" Spencer squealed, he just needed a few more inches and he'd be safe! PLEASE MIGHTY COFFEE ENDORPHANTS kick in! Aaron smirked, and lunged forward catching the hem of Spencer's Star Enterprise shirt. _AH HA! SUCCESS! _Aaron was about to reel Spencer in when he heard a _._

Spencer froze…? He looked back to find half of his shirt in Aarons hands, Reid slowly turned his face up to meet his husbands eyes like a lion staring down its prey. Aaron dropped the shirt, lifted his hands up in surrender and proceeded to back away slowly, "You better run." Spencer said with a half insane smile. Aarons face went pale and booked it into Jack's room.

It was a sacred covenant of the Hotchner/Reid Household…NEVER … EVER under any circumstances, not even if alien cows began to shat rainbows and midgets and the earths safety depended on it, was daddy's Star Trek/StarWars collection to be kept in any condition other than MINT condition. And now this…this monstrous murder had been committed in the Holy temple and refuge for all things Nerd...The apocalypse was near Reid concluded, as he sprinted after his soon ex-husband by less than legal methods.

Panic struck the Unit Chief…Jack didn't have a lock on his door. He hear giggles, in another situation and time the giggles might had sounded adorable and flirty, but as Aaron cowered against Jacks giant stuffed T-Rex the giggles sounded like Satan himself was singing out his death sentence. Spencer Reid sauntered into the room, shirt ripped and all; he looked like a deranged Peter Pan on crack.

"Now babe you're the one that started this can't we just kiss and make up?" Aaron couldn't bring to mind the countless reasoning techniques he'd used to calm down an unsub; the genuine concern for his life didn't let him. Spencer giggled, crouching down in front of his cowering husband, "I started it? As I recall SOMEONE used the Red Shell on me EVETHOUGH we were on the same team… My poor poor little Yoshi spun off the track into space." Spencer pouted, eyes turning hard, "and my shirt…" Spencer grabbed for the slinky on Jacks dresser, he calmly let the slinky walk on his hands.

Aaron sweat, He admitted using the Red Shell was a cheap shot, but if he had known that the blasted Red Shell would cause him to wish to have written a Will he would have GALDLY driven OFF the Rainbow Road while he was ahead. Aaron froze, at the mention of his shirt Reid's calm demurer had changed into one without restraint. "YOU BUTTMUNCH!" Reid swung the slinky at Aarons head, "Spencer!" Aaron tried to cover his face with his hands, but the reign of fire did not cease. Reid swung like a desperate maniac, "Spencer please! Spencer OWCH! Spencer! STOP!" Aaron was now on the floor with the deranged doctor straddling his legs; Spencer smirked and grabbed for Jacks stuffed teddy bear whilst still swinging the slinky. Teddy bear acquired Reid went into Sensei Combat Mode and lashed out, left hand (with slinky) then right hand (with bear).

Aaron frantically reached around blindly with his left hand, his right to busy trying to ward of Reid's insidious attacks that would give and grown man nightmares for days. He felts something round, and wrapped his fingers around it. Without looking at what was in his hand he threw it blindly, he heard a CLUNK. And then all went still. Aaron winced the second sound effect of the day followed by silence, he open his eyes to see a dazed Spencer holding a poke ball. "You...threw a poke ball at me…" Spencer sat talking to himself more than to Aaron…Aaron held his breath. "So… NOW IMA FURRY ALIEN FIGHTING MODULE?"

Derek Morgan adjusted his rearview mirror, "so buddy what's new at school?" He shot the small blonde boy a toothpaste commercial smile. Jack Hotchner grinned as he licked his ice-cream "I made a new friend!" Emily Prentiss and Penelope Garcia squealed in the back of the SUV, "of COURSE you did! Who could resist a cutie like you?" Jack giggled at his silly aunts antics. "Yeah he's a looker but where do you think he got all this gentlemanly suave moves from?" David Rossi smirked. Emily snorted, "Just don't let him join the mafia Dave."

The SUV pulled into the Hotchner/Reid drive way. "YAY! We're home!" Jack eagerly unbuckled his seatbelt and raced for the door and face planted onto the driveway. The team winced and rushed forward, but Jack sprung back up and continued for the door. The team let out a relieved sigh and made to the door.

As soon as the opened the door they were assaulted by the sounds of a most serious battle. Morgan reached for his gun, and looked at Prentiss who pushed Jack behind her, David Stood in front of Garcia who gave Jacks hand a small squeeze. Derek walked slowly towards the stairs, trying to make no sound. He didn't get far because as soon as he made his first move two figures came rolling down the stairs.

Aaron managed to get on top of Spencer and they commenced to wrestle, they made their way out of Jacks' room and started toppling off the stairs, Spencer managed to get out of Aarons grip and with the slinky, which he had wrapped around his arm continued to smack Aaron with it. Aaron had armed himself with Jack's teddy bear, whose stuffing was gathering at its feet, and was swinging it trying to intercept every one of Spencer's blows. They stumbled down more stairs, not noticing they had gathered and audience. Spencer managed to climb up and sit on a struggling unit chief and began bouncing on him; Aaron pushed Spencer off causing Spencer to grab at Aarons ACDC shirt and sending them toppling once again down the last remaining steps of the staircase. "I should have ripped your shirt." Spencer growled into Hotchs' ear, Aarons eyes grew a pair of cartoon worthy size eyes, "You wouldn't DARE." He gave Spencer his best BOSS MAN look, "Look at me in that tone of voice again and I MIGHT." Spencer hissed.

Aaron Hotchner, FBI agent, Team Leader, Father, husband, Super Mario Carts enthusiast, lost all self control and dignity left and groveled. "Spence…love… I'm sorry… what I did was unforgivable, forgive me?" Aaron had subconsciously eased into a sort of bow. Spencer mulled the concept over in his large expanse of a brain. Placing a complacent finger on his lips Spencer pouted, when Aaron and he had started getting serious they had agreed that family would all ways come first…Spencer smiled slyly and pulled his naughty husband into a kiss.

BUBLINK!

"BuBlink?" Aaron asked aloud pulling away from Spencer.

"BuBIINK sir." Aarons and Spencer's heads whipped around. Standing in their living room was an amused David Rossi, eyebrows raised suggestively, a slightly relieved Derek Morgan, covering Jacks eyes with his hand, and two very pleased looking ladies, each holding a video camera. "So…taking advantage of the day off I see." Prentiss said putting her camera away. A very confused Spencer stood up revealing his torn shirt, "Ah it's all coming together now." Rossi smirked, "Really Aaron? You should know better." Aaron shook his head and was tackled for the 110th time that day, but by Jack, "Did you use the blue shell daddy?" Hotch's face broke into a grin as Spencer huffed and puffed out of the room followed by giggling Garcia wanting details. "I never learn do I jack? I used the red shell today."

-Author's Note:-

SHELLS: For those of you who don't understand the whole red shell/blue shell, in Super Mario GO-Carts there are certain items a player can obtain to use against opponents to gain an advantage. The blue shell, when shot, automatically targets the player in first place, and has a 100% accuracy. The red shell has almost identical properties, except for targeting the player in the lead, it targets the opponent directly in front of the player.

I know this wasn't the most clever story ever, but you got to start somewhere. :D


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